What is a Pearl Without Her Rose?
by Lazhuli
Summary: Garnet has watched Pearl live for Rose's dreams for millennia. Once she's gone, what does Pearl have left to stand for? Implied Pearl/Rose, Rose/Greg, Steven/Connie, Pearlnet if you close one eye and squint a little. TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mentions of suicide


**A/N Everytime I watch this show I can't help but think Pearl had to have once been someone else. She so clearly has anxiety and some mental instabilities. All the gems do silly/stupid things and lash out from time to time but Pearl WAY more than any other character loses focus, becomes obsessed, and puts others in harm's way (mostly inadvertently). This is just a little one-shot showing her mental decline from Garnet's point of view. TRIGGER WARNINGS: Talk of suicide**

Garnet had watched Pearl grow increasingly unstable over the past few thousand years. Ever since the end of the Gem War, when Rose had destroyed the Galaxy Warp, the crushing weight of eternity on Earth had changed her. Pearl had fought for and with Rose Quartz, but she had never fought for herself, didn't know if she even believed in the cause that now left she, Garnet and Rose trapped on the planet they had fought for. In those first few centuries she'd had a breakdown every time Rose left for more than a few hours, convinced that their leader was abandoning her.

Thankfully, once they discovered Amethyst in the Kindergarten Rose's frequent departures came to a halt. Those were a good few millennia, as they trained the purple gem Pearl finally had a purpose to call her own and Rose, a reason to stick around. Garnet willfully blocked out her future vision, not wanting to see if their little family would ever be broken up again. It was a mistake, she never saw it coming, never saw _him_ coming.

Greg Universe flew into their lives in such a whirlwind it made all three of their heads spin. Rose, of course, took him in her stride, completely infatuated with this human. Pearl had spent a lot of nights in Garnet's room during the two years they were together, sometimes crying, sometimes ranting, mostly just being held by the taller gem. Garnet would always believe Pearl might have recovered from Rose's relationship with Greg, if not for the baby. Pearl's reaction had been so violent that Garnet had no choice but to poof her back into her gem. When she reformed, Garnet had taken her and Amethyst away, Rose didn't want her friends to watch her die. When they returned, Rose was gone and in her place was a tiny, squalling human.

Garnet wasn't surprised the day one outcome flashed across her future vision. All paths leading to the one act her friend had committed herself too. They were watching him that night, the four-month old child, on account of Greg being seriously ill. Amethyst was holding him tightly to her chest as he slept, she was absolutely fascinated by him. That was when Pearl had come out of the temple, begging the purple gem to hold him, just for a few minutes. Amethyst, very much still a child herself, had absolutely refused to relinquish her bundle. Then Garnet watched as Pearl's face grew dark and she reached into her gem for her spear.

"Then you can go with him." Pearl said in a low voice.

"Pearl?" Amethyst gasped as the gem who had raised her leveled her weapon at her chest. Amethyst squeezed her eyes tightly shut as she saw the spear racing towards her, trying to turn so Steven wouldn't be hurt. Nothing….Amethyst opened her eyes to see Garnet with one gauntlet covered hand on Pearl's wrist. The other wrestled away her spear and threw it onto the sand outside the cave.

"How dare you!" Garnet bellowed. "Rose trusted you! She trusted us to care for him."

"He killed her." Pearl sobbed.

"No! He's just a baby…" Amethyst tried to interject.

"Amethyst go, take him and hide until I come to find you." Garnet cut her off. The purple gem stared at her two companions for a moment, slack jawed, before racing off with the baby in her arms.

"He doesn't deserve her gem!" Pearl tried to twist out of Garnet's grip. "He doesn't deserve her life!"

"YOU don't deserve your life!" Garnet countered. She took Pearl by her collar and slammed her against the wall of the cave.

"That monster…." Pearl tried to say, only to be slammed against the stone again.

"You are the monster Pearl!" Garnet screamed. "You were going to kill an innocent child. Why? Because you can't accept that Rose didn't choose you! We all miss her Pearl, her memory doesn't belong to you just like SHE never belonged to you."

"Garnet…." Pearl sobbed, "Just shatter me."

"No." The taller gem replied. "Not I'm not helping you commit suicide. But if you ever try to touch that child again, I will crush you under my boot heel."

"Garnet," Pearl tried to argue, "We could have our Rose back. She's in there! If he wasn't here then we could…"

"Could what? Have Rose here to tell her in person how you killed her son?" Garnet laughed. Pearl cringed at the thought. "Then you really would be shattered. If you want her back, then you have to care for her son, otherwise the Rose who left won't be the one who returns." She was right and Pearl knew it. Garnet dropped the shorter gem to the ground, watching as she sobbed into her knees.

"I never wanted anything but her." Pearl cried.

"I'm sorry, but that's not what she wanted." Garnet replied evenly. "I think you should go now."

"Please don't send me away, please." The gem begged her oldest friend.

"Not forever." Garnet promised her. "A year, think about it, how you want Rose's return to be, then come back and help us teach him."

Pearl scrambled to her feet and disappeared down the beach. Just as Garnet had told her, she'd stayed away for a year. However, soon after her return Garnet realized that sending her away had not had the intended calming effect on Pearl's personality. She was twice as anxious now as she had ever been, constantly fretting over the now toddling Steven. By the time he was ten Garnet and Amethyst both had given up on getting Pearl to relax. If taking care of Steven was the key to getting Rose back, then she was going to make it her life's mission to watch over him. They settled into a new pattern.

It worked, for twenty-seven years it worked, until snowy roads and brakes badly needing replaced proved that Steven was as much a human as he was a gem. They had found his gem in the debris, all five pieces. Pearl had been inconsolable, raging at Connie for letting him drive the car in such terrible shape, Greg for giving it to him in the first place, Amethyst for being the reason he was driving the snowy back roads from his and Connie's home to the temple, Garnet for not seeing this and not preventing it. They let her scream and cry, Greg even held her as she hurled insults at him through her tears. They had all lost something, two somethings in fact, but their Pearl had lost everything.

They hadn't been able to convince her to attend the memorial service, a somber affair down on the beach were the entire town gathered for a moment of silence and a Eulogy delivered beautifully by Amethyst. The Pizza's and the Fryman's opened their shops afterward, offering food and a warm place to converse for those who wanted to share their stories and memories. Garnet arrived back at the house an hour after sunset, alone. The others had wanted to stay and talk for a while, to hold on to him for a few more minutes. Garnet had wanted to check in on Pearl. She really wasn't all that surprised when she found the shards of Steven's gem out of their box and pieced together on the floor, next to them lay three pieces of a smooth white gem, all the luster let out of it, and a spear.


End file.
